Javed Jaleel
A 4-year old says to his father, “I want to become a cricketer like the legendary Imran Khan”. One year later, the same child wants to become chef exactly when his taste buds start experiencing different flavors. Another year passes, and the 6-year old boy now wants to be a pilot and then macho celebrity like Salman Khan, then a superstar like Shahrukh Khan, then Tom Cruise as years pass. In his attempt to be a national hero out of enthusiasm, he gradually goes through numerous phases of life – a portion of his enthusiasm turns into a passion which when further translated with competence and opportunities land him to the profession, he is capable of handling.
All those enthusiasts are not connoisseurs, what interests a fashion enthusiast doesn’t make him/her its connoisseur. Between the two, there is a fine line that divides the personality into two halves. Just like wish-list when coupled with buying power makes demand, similarly passion’s amalgamation with competence makes us successful when provided ample opportunities. Pakistani political horizon has a large chunk of people with passion, some with competency and a very few with opportunities. Dilemma with the current leadership is overflowing passion for the opportunity it’s entitled to, but it seriously lacks competence.
PM Imran strived for over two decades in pursuit of the dream he had made the people of Pakistan see, he burnt midnight oil to make people realize their rights. While he was busy dreaming for a welfare state, people got fed up of the leadership that ruled Pakistan one by one before PTI-led government was formed. As soon as the hundred days reach their completion, honeymoon period is finally over and so is the excitement behind PTI-led agenda. At first, the public ignored the wrongdoing, ill-planning, U-turns and short-sightedness… however the U-turns were later legalized by the house that’s sovereign. If this continues the same way, what would PTI government be presenting as its performance report after five years? Probably like this, President Arif Alvi traveled protocol free and refused to come out of the International Airport while threatening its motorcade to leave else he will have a sit-in inside the non-VIP lounge – this happened 131 times during his foreign trips brotherly and non-brotherly countries both. This saved on the cost of fuel which would otherwise have been wasted and dented national kitty.
Similarly, CM Punjab had Chai at a local tea kiosk while traveling to Southern Punjab – this happened 10 times right after getting off his helicopter during such trips. This not only gave confidence to people to drink tea carefree but also made him people’s leader, contrary to Shahbaz Sharif’s rule in Punjab during which the junior Sharif alone drank tea worth six thousand billion dollars that too in a cup made of white gold and its handle engraved with Australian diamonds dug out during World War II. Such lavish lifestyle with regards to tea made general public suffer from inferiority complex, they almost gave up their habit of taking tea in the morning. This gave room to Coffee and it was very intelligently imposed on all tea lovers. During tea crisis, obviously because of Sharif’s habit of drinking this magnificent drink, NESCAFE made its way (ongoing brand war between Coffee and Tea is part of this conspiracy theory).
This just didn’t happen on its own, but readers would be surprised to know it was Nestle behind it. It’s a known fact that headquarter of the said company is housed in Switzerland. Yes, you heard that right, it’s in the same country where our corrupt leaders have stashed several thousand billion dollars. This had proven that Shehbaz Sharif was actually favoring Swiss companies, so they in return they shall guard his elder brother’s money properly. Sometimes, it’s not about monetary benefits but political gains which the younger Sharif very intelligently managed. Not anymore, people have started to believe in Chai again, Punjab progressed, Pakistan progressed. Similarly, another achievement, our beloved Prime Minister had his Tasbeeh during his trip to foreign lands – this happened 30 times. This has shown the softer image of Pakistan to the world. It is clearly evident that Pakistan is a peaceful state and our handsome Prime Minister is religious and pious – which is enough for us to refrain from questioning him further.
Another achievement, he deposited a precious watch given to him as a gift into government’s kitty. Unlike the much touted ‘traitor’ the Nawaz Sharif who wears watch worth 4500 million dollars, which not only showed his poor choice of watches, but he also lacked class contrary to PM IK who was photographed with Ivana Trump and many other beautiful and rich personalities from all over the world. He could get even expensive and better watches, but he gave up everything for the people of this country.
… to be continued.
The writer is a freelance journalist and prefers writing satire on current political situation.
DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of satire and must be taken with a light heart and preferably with not a light stomach.
